My new normal

When I hear "my new normal" it is usually being used to describe a schedule or what is left after a traumatic event or situation has occurred. Today I'm using it to describe the way that your body can survive and is so resilient and how the Lord really is our strength and takes such good care of us. It has been over 18 weeks since I have slept longer than 3 hours at a time, some nights getting a couple 3 hours, but most nights doing good to go back to sleep and get an hour here or there. More recently it has been more like tonight, an hour into my sleep I awake and I stay awake until about an hour before everyone else is ready to get up. So 2 hours, split in 2 sessions of 1 hour each. Whew, yes, our bodies really can keep going and I don't expect my "new normal" to change for another 18 weeks, or longer. The difference will be that after tonight my body will wake up to take care of another. A new precious little one will be given to me sometime today or tommorrow and I am so glad that we get to meet in such good circumstances. By that I mean that I feel blessed to have my family here buzzing around me and planning who will be where and when and how can they best care for our other little one and a husband that loves me (despite the fact that labor and a baby moving in my belly freaks him out- LOVE YOU HANDSOME!). I don't say these things to brag, I say these things because I am so grateful. I know that things could be drastically different and I praise God that they are not! I also know that things are subject to change in an instant and I don't want to forget this moment... in the dark... up all night... thankful for the changes we are getting ready to take on.

My mother and I (unless something changes and I go into labor early today) will be heading to the hospital at about 2 o'clock today to start the cervadil (NO idea if that spelling is even close). The doc said he will come by to check on us about 6 tonight and if the image in my mind is right, we will be right in the middle of a good card came or watching Fred Claus on tv. I am certain that is not what we will be doing, but the picture in my head is sweet. I mean come on, mom and daughter bonding the night before the birth of the second baby? She would probably rather be home playing with Baby K but I am thinking a) my hubby is 6'3 and doesn't fit well on the plastic couches and since he will be staying with me for the next night or so I'm gonna be a sweet wife and let him enjoy our bed one more night and b) I am really nervous about leaving my Baby K and her feeling abandoned for 3 days or so until I return and I feel like she needs her daddy here if there is no good reason that he must be gone. Not that I feel like she is not in very capable and loving hands, she has just recently become very attached to Mommy and I don't want her to think for a minute that we are both gone.

The doctor has made a few things very clear to us. 1) the chances of c-section slightly increase with induction 2) if anything goes wrong or doesn't seem right that he will tell us, but immediately proceed to get the baby out as fast as possible and 3) the cervadil does cause some women to go into labor and therefore we may have the little guy today. I am okay with all three! I really like my doctor and feel that we are in capable and loving hands and that we will be well cared for during delivery. I know that the Lord is in control and I just pray that our baby arrives safely and has all 10 fingers and toes!

Okay, more later. It is 6:30 and Baby K will be waking up shortly needing me to be alert and at some point I need to pack my bag. LOL I am usually such a planner, but who the heck knows what will fit when this child leaves the belly. :) Not me! I guess I will just throw some stuff in a bag and hope for the best.

Our love to all!
K